Lest I go to hell

In dying naturally

There is a chance for mercy

The mercy God did not show

When he took my mother

The mercy God did not show

When depression He bestowed

I cut myself to heal

I cut myself to feel

To create my own mercy

That God did not bestow

©copyright Cindy Darkheart~DaRk Whispers-A Dark Poetry Blog

I can give my daughter

Is to teach her

How not to be like me

To let her see my soul

To tell her my errs

And how not to be

Like me

To show her how to live

By sharing my life

How I do not live but exist

Do not be like me

I share my emptiness

And I show what anger does

It is the best gift I can give

How not to be like me

©copyright Cindy Darkheart~DaRk Whispers-A Dark Poetry Blog

When I am gone

No church affiliation

No friends

What will they do

What will they do with me

When I am gone

I cannot lie with my mother

Who died when I was but a child

What will they do

She rests in a military cemetery

Where I cannot be buried

Even in death

I will be short-changed

What will they do

©copyright Cindy Darkheart~DaRk Whispers-A Dark Poetry Blog

God took her

To a better place

I remember thinking

How selfish of Him

He took my mother away

I needed her more

Than He ever would

Loss haunts my soul always

©copyright Cindy Darkheart~DaRk Whispers-A Dark Poetry Blog

Death made me

Who I am

Today

Anger changed me

Anger made me

Who I am

Today

Guilt fooled me

Guilt ruled me

Guilt took my life

Away

Scars healed me

Blood relieves me

It is how I still cope

Today

©copyright Cindy Darkheart~DaRk Whispers-A Dark Poetry Blog

Ernest Hemingway

In the guise of humans

Preying on the weak of mind

Those beaten down

And trodden by life

They really were not hard to find

Their weakened state

Left them susceptible to

The demons of the mind

Known by many names

Monsters of mental illness

Their reigns the ties that bind

They take over lives

Until they can cry no more

The enemy called the ninth kind

©copyright Cindy Darkheart~DaRk Whispers-A Dark Poetry Blog

Of a field of thistles

Enjoying my flavored coffee

Surrounded by

My prickly thoughts

Numbness my only defense

The thistles intruded

On all aspects of life

Like the lie that Satan told

Overwhelmed by pain

And thickened scars

Small joys I tried to hold on to

©copyright Cindy Darkheart~DaRk Whispers-A Dark Poetry Blog

Trails of dried blood decorate her body

I hear the sound of laughter

Seemingly coming from me

I watch myself from a distance

Proud of what I have done

From my hands the blood I rinse

Adrenaline on the run

Again I am one with myself

Now it is time to be free

A typed note sits on the shelf

Murder suicide and me

01/09/12

©copyright Cindy Darkheart~DaRk Whispers-A Dark Poetry Blog

My past mistakes

That God calls lessons

I want to be numb

Without thought

Without reason

After all, there is no logic

There is no logic

To what creates my darkness

A simple thought

Ferments

To the point of obsession

To the brink of insanity

I am so exhausted

In my drunken stupor

My drunken quest

To numbness

To normalcy

1/09/12

©copyright Cindy Darkheart~DaRk Whispers-A Dark Poetry Blog